true love

For as long as I've known me (and I think it's fair to say it's been awhile) I have been a hopeless romantic, believing one day my price on his white horse was going to come and take me away from everything my life is or was or would turn out to be otherwise.  Sometimes, I get as bitter as the next Jo and swear such things can't and don't exist, or that it's all chemicals in your head.

I'm okay with it being chemicals in my head, so long as I can feel that heart fluttering, stomach churning, hand-clamming emotional roller-coaster again.  I know what it feels like.  I know what it feels like when you want to reach out and touch someone, but they're too far from you, or don't love you, or... 

I want to believe that I can have that kind of connection with a human again.  It's wishing you could open them up and crawl inside of them just to get that close.  It's wanting to bind your body to theirs because you need them *that* much and they need you the same.  It's carnal passion and sweet, sweet love that leads you from skipping hand-in-hand through a field to rolling around on each others sweaty bodies in the dirt.  Romance.  Thoughtfulness.  Desire.  Promises that are never broken, because neither of you can imagine hurting the other or,  gods forbid, going through life without them there.  

I want that.

I want *that* kind of feeling again.  I deserve that.