my computer is finally fixed

i finally have a computer that works.  i don't even know what to do.  It's been awhile.  What's new with you?  I am getting ready to do some homesteading.  Seriously.  Buying some land somewhere on the west coast so I can learn to do some goat milking and chicken-egg hatching and whatever it is people do when you leave them in the middle of the forest.
The forest we own, though.
Not like, into the wild or whatever bull kids are falling into these days.  I'm talking about consciously going into the wild with some knowledge of what we're about to deal with and the money to get us through.
Mostly.
If I didn't have oligodontia we wouldn't have these problems.

maintaining a relationship

I have always been able to maintain long relationships.  I have dated guys for years at a time and then continued to be their friend to this day.  Even now I am in a committed relationship that never feels like any work and is always an adventure.  So people ask me - How do you DO that?

It's easy!

Don't be mean.

Fights happen in any relationship and they're perfectly normal.  What's not normal is "gas lighting" to start a fight is completely inappropriate.  What is gas-lighting?  It's putting out little pokes and prods to get a rise out of someone or to attempt to manipulate power over a situation.

If you do end up in the middle of a fight, don't bring up anything you've already hashed out or forgiven one another for in the past.  It's desperate and downright rude to rub the past in your lovers face.  We all make mistakes and once something is settled leave it alone forever.  You aren't accumulating a GPA here.  

Adore your partner

I always dreamed I would find a man who would make me feel beautiful.

The thing is, sometimes we get so drawn into what we would like out of our lovers that we forget that they need to be told they're beautiful too.

When we take our showers, my man and I each wash each other.  We don't just sponge and go but take the extra five minutes out of every day to commit each section of each others bodies to memory.  I know every freckle and every hair.  I have washed between his toes and behind his ears for a year and I still get excited to take a shower with him every day. 

Funny enough worshiping someone else makes you feel better about your own body.

I never assume someone will wrong me.

It's easy to think someone might cheat on you or that they're up to no good.  That they are sneaking around.  I make it a habit to never allow that seed to enter my brain.  I trust my partner wholeheartedly.  If he is out partying with the guys and has had too many my only request is that he call and let me know he hasn't been hurt.  I would never think he was doing something with someone else - that's just disrespectful poison to the relationship!

I let him know that I trust him with every part of me and that I feel he has the respect enough to tell me if he ever feels differently about me than he does now.  I think that's critical.

Be honest

Sometimes it's okay to say: "I'm being moody and I'm sensitive."  In fact, warning your partner of these times of moods can not only keep a volatile situation at bay but can often present you with just the type of comfort you need the most!

Don't be so prideful that you end up hurting each other: SAY IT.

Other than that we have other rules for ourselves like that we don't leave the house when we're fighting.  We can go in separate rooms but no one gets to leave the premises until all accounts are settled.  I drop everything for him when he comes into the house.  Whether I'm in the middle of reading a book, blogging, or am elbow deep stuffing a turkey it doesn't matter.  When he comes in nothing in the world matters to me but a hug and a kiss and a Welcome Home, darling!

So stop over-complicating it. 

More on him - www.squidoo.com/mypersonalperfect

i write on squidoo

Look here to see what else I'm writing about
Clever Girl Name

I update often!  

You might learn something!

i turned my office into a fort

I am fully and wholly a child at heart.  The girl who pounds a case of some bizarre energy drink like Bawls or Mana just so I can finish "just one more level..." in whatever game I happen to be hooked on at the time.  I am guilty of simultaneously playing games all over my consoles and PC.

I am also guilty of turning my entire office into a fort.  I'm talking I have changed no less than one-quarter of our shared home into a fort.  It took four queen size sheets and a few towels and blankets but I've finally blocked myself off with some nice pinkish-reddish mood lighting.  I have a blanket and some pillows on the floor so I can take naps without leaving.  There are snacks, books (I have all my books in here, actually) and obviously internet.  There's even a little room (read: cave) under my desk (that I *do* fit in, thank you very much).

I control the music on the Apple tv from in here - though as you can see by the large picture the television is outside of my fort.  So mostly I'm making roommates suffer invisible person across from the living-room controlling what we listen to all day.

It's probably a good thing for their sake that they go to work.

The fort is permanent and no one has told me I had to take it down.

#win

lazy and in love with me

Oh man, I don't even know where to start.  First let's get this issue out of the way - is it okay to put age-appropriate sex scenes into young adults literature to keep them from acting out what they have seen in a porn?  Is it responsible or abuse to subject your children to it?  You know they're getting it already - they go to school, right?
I think some people need to take some ADULT RESPONSIBILITY so their children don't HAVE to learn about sex through pornography.  It is your moral responsibility as a parent.
As far as writing that type of information goes - how are you comfortable with WRITING that?

I just stumbled across this chocolate bar at Cost Plus World Market while trying to find a nice bottle of >$10 wine.
I didn't get it because I'm currently being denied the finer things in life because I don't have a job and I'm lazy and no one wants to pay me to work for them or donate to my cause.
:'(

Oh right, the chocolate.  I can't really review it but I can say it has been a long time coming.  Bacon saw it first but jerky is the bacon of road trips.

my laptop broke saddest girl in the world

Today I am as sad as sad can be.

Stupid Girl.

I left the laptop on the edge of the table plugged in and the dog went running by and pulled it off the edge of the table.

The Power Connector wrenched sideways and now it won't charge.

I am broken without it.  Like a bird with a clipped wing, unable to fly.

How will I finish my story?

open to suggestions

As many of you know - if you have been reading at all - I have am currently unemployed and doing everything I can to find the next great adventure.  I know that I like to write and that I have a lot of free time on my hands.  What would you suggest I do, if anyone is reading? Do I go fill out an application at the local taco joint and hope for the best?  Perhaps take a route as a dishwasher?
Do I follow my dreams and write?  What hobby should I do in the meantime?

It's interesting when you feel like you're starting over this late.

i need a girl to teach me make-up.

Or, you know, a boy who knows how to do make up.

Sure, there's a million videos... And I've seen them all... but there's nothing like a hands-on approach, right?  Too bad I don't have any female friends.

Christ I sound all alone and emo in these when I read them.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms!











Anyway, on a COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, I ran into some shoes in my travels that I decided needed to be shared with you, my readers.

Fashion designer of the odd, Marjan Pejoski, created these SWEET shoes that are appropriately created with leather.

No seriously, if you haven't yet, click that link.  They're cow shoes.  COW SHOES.

Now if I could get my hands on some cat pads made out of kitteh hide...

early saturday

it's early and I am tired

Is it sleeping in if you don't have a job?

Is 30 too old?

Am I ever going to stop being lazy?

What is my place in this world?

Why does my coffee take so long?

how did you find me?

Oh holy h e double hockey-sticks it's amazing how quickly the day goes even if you aren't going to work.  Things are looking good around here in my home beside the ocean, where I weave tales about my life and what I like and shoes.

That's right - shoes.  God, I love these shoes..
#ihaveaproblem

It's been awhile...

It has been incredibly too long.  First, let's start off with some shameless self-promotion, because lord knows this girl needs the money, but more on that later.

All they can say is no, right? 

 Fund Me

Now, where were we?
Oh, right, so I did this road trip thing years ago and now no one cares anymore because here I am this unemployed girl leaning on nothing but the remainder of previously earned paychecks and a bottle of whiskey.   Hey now, don't judge me because I drink.  Judge me for the million other reasons you could have if you sat and talked to me for a day or two.

I quit my job because I hit a brick wall and didn't know how to find my way back out of it.  It was Saturday May fourth, sunny and well enough a day.  I was out to breakfast when my phone rang.  Conversations went as conversations normally do, no astounding end to say so, but allofasudden I had a full blown panic attack.  Out of nowhere, I started breathing heavily, my heart started racing and I was shaking.  I couldn't even finish my food.

From here, it only progressed.  I was worked up about everything and nothing that could have ever been anything at any point in time, but I was worked up and that was all that mattered.  That night, just as I fell asleep I woke up again, this time in a sobbing-heaving-retching panic.  I did not sleep again.

The next day, I could not be consoled and was sobbing myself into a mess.  I called in and said I could never return to work again.  Seriously, when they say life changes in an instant, I think some of them might be talking about moments like that.  For whatever reason, I could not convince myself to go back there, and to this day I still cannot fathom stepping back over there.

Too bad I'm not at the age where it makes sense to run away anymore.  I think that 30 years old is a little late to be playing the game of "What do I want to do with the rest of my life?"  But hey, I'm going to give whatever it is my all.

So what the hell am I doing?  Panhandling the internet, it looks like, because as it turns out the skills of someone who was selling body jewelry to piercers in the industry are not in-demand.  Other than management skills and working in customer service, I think it's probably been a gap of 9-year-uselessness.  It's simply not something that can be done professionally anywhere else.

I know I can write, but either I need the idea for a story or I need to get my foot in on the article writing world.  Either way, I've got quite a bit of work in front of me.

Wish me luck!