on taxes

Taxes are an inevitable part of life, because humans are greedy, and we don't like to share with each other, but we're perfectly fine with someone demanding they be in leadership - we like being followers and we're not in any sort of position for a global uproar.
So we're stuck, right?  I have no problem letting them take part of my hard-earned paycheck to go towards certain things, but why can't I be the deciding factor on where that money is going?  I suggest they treat it like a 401k - We've all used one of those before, right?  A certain percentage of the money is allotted into certain categories of your choosing, totaling 100% of what you put in.
For example, mine might like like this:
On a yearly basis, perhaps right there on the Tax form, there is a 'where would you like your money to go?' box (this is all just hypothetical), and I fill in the following:  30% education, 10% planned parenthood, 40% general government; 40% non-personal/personal medical - Of course, there would have to be fine print.
*No more than __% can be set aside for personal - like Social Security.  Other organizations would have to have a cap, too, I'm sure.  It'd take some looking into further.
I'm just saying no one company would get everything, because there are people  in this world who believe everything opposite you do - lots of them, actually!  I think it'd make it more fun, as if you had the chance to 'spend ' your money.
And how about if you don't fill out that piece of paperwork, yours goes automatically to the general Federal Pie Chart?  People are lazy, that that'd sure to be a utilized option!

Just saying.  Could be fun.

because it's worth watching.

get the fuck out of here.

This is too close:  Zombie Ants.  Too close for all of us that knew it was coming, but were trying to join in on the blissfully unawares.  That can't happen! You say, and yet.. yet, there it is!  Oh! And Brain Parasites in general.  We know about Brain Parasites.  They make you do things.  Your brain is ridiculously capable of being corrupted, even by itself.

So I'm thinking the next thing to do - after prepping the shelter, assuring canned food, and assembling weaponry just in case - is to convince someone else that they need to make a movie about this shit.  No! Seriously! Make a movie about the real Apocalypse and what is possible on a biological level.

Of course, some might argue that it could cause mass hysteria if it was all based on scientific facts.  Then people would do stupid shit, then you'd get blamed for it, then.. Well, nevermind, I guess, until someone figures out a clever way to get away with it.

big long post.

I haven't put anything on here for days, so to make up for it, I will cover a whole bunch of random shit, including literal shit.

1.) The Magnetic Pole Shift will make animals crazy.  Also, it's what's killing all the animals.  Also It's... impacting navigation?!  This is pretty remarkable stuff.  Or it could be nothing at all. If you haven't, go read about it over at Wikipedia.  Also, would love to hear some personal thoughts on whether or not this is bullshit.

2.)  In case you missed this, how about Clothes that Wash Themselves ?  We all dream of a lazy day, some place in the near future, in which we can lie out in the sun for 20+ hours to remove the wine stain from our clothing.  Or leave them outside...  As a matter of fact, I was just thinking that wearing a carcinogen might give me an excuse to continue smoking - Hey, gonna get lung cancer anyway, right?

3.) This is a really novel idea - invisibility jacket .  Only, I can't buy it, no matter how much money I have.  Things piss me off when I can't have them, but they seem really cool.  Even if they're impossible things.  Fuck you for taunting me, by the way.  You should be ashamed by your headline.  Furthermore, not being able to see certain colors under water doesn't mean wearing said colors under water will make you invisible. No, seriously, if you bleed under water, it doesn't come out clear - trust me.

4.) And this will be the last one for now, because there's just too many ridiculous stories to cover in really small paragraphs - that have happened over the last however many documented years...
Finally, you meat eaters can tell those vegetarians to eat shit and still be totally PC.  This guy seriously and totally and completely (this blows me away this much) created food from human fecal matter.  That's as wrong as mothers breast milk ice cream - and while I might be convinced to go Gaga, I cannot even imagine the taste-testing it took to get to this scientist mans poo-poo-product.

animals in the news.

Seriously? She pierced her cats?
I think that in this world, there are honestly people who honestly believe it's perfectly acceptable to pierce a cat.  Having witnessed, first hand, on a near daily basis, the intelligence level of the mass population, I think that the judge in this case was incorrect in assuming that the girl should have known that piercing a cat was a bad idea.  I don't think there is a law that says you can't pierce a cat, necessarily.

I do know there are laws about mutating animals, however. I do know that a piercing should only ever be a personal choice.  I know that this is wrong, and I'm in no way advocating it - don't worry about sending me mass hate mail.  All I'm saying is those of you who say "There's no way she didn't know this was wrong..." take a good look around you next time you venture out into the world.

In other news this is an interesting article that should spark up a lot of noteworthy jokes around Christmas time.  Maybe a song to replace "Grandma got ran over by a reindeer."  It disturbs me that something can just pick something like that up and fly away.  Hold onto your children!

this is offensive

Abortion.
There's a heavy word.  It makes some people angry just hearing it - people from both sides.   Fuck I hate this argument, more than I hate most topics.  Much more.

You don't want people to get abortions because of religion, politics, and/or morality (why is it that this is such a reoccurring theme? - More on that later in a 'your opinion is unnecessary to me' blog) so you stop them.

Then they die.  Or the kid dies.  Or the kid grows up violent.  Hm. Maybe you think it's too close to playing god, and/or that it's just plain murder.  That's fine.  I don't care enough about that particular part of this argument  to put forth any real effort.  You're kind of right. You're kind of not.  Whatever.

 Here's the real kicker:

"The people shouldn't have to put their tax money towards Planned Parenthood for abortions."
Uh.
Oh my fucking god, I heard this on television one day from some white trash political 'leader' or another (it really, really doesn't matter, because it's the thought that counts here), and I wanted to tear the cable out of the wall and get rid of it once and for all.  I'd still have internet though, and I have to go outside, so... I digress.  You, and I, and your neighbor know, as tax payers, they're going to take it regardless of whether or not we like it.

Here are your options:

Pay for the mother who (for whatever reasons, which are HERS TO CHOOSE) chooses to get an abortion instead of raising the child - for whatever reason.

Or Pay for the following POTENTIAL possibilities:

welfare/food-stamps/insurance

jail for the child/mother/father/siblings/etc.etc.etc?

another child in foster-care

another child in....

....

I could go on and on and on about the horrible future in store for a lot of these potential children.  It's a cruel world out there.  End it fast, don't drag it out.  Pro Choice.

more than you can know.

It really pisses me off when you go to rent a place, and you love it and it's perfect and they love you and "...oh. You have a pet?". It really seriously chaps my hide, but there's one thing that pisses me off even more: The people who MADE these people this way.

"It peed under the..."

"...the hole in the floor."

"...the scratches on ..."

Seriously, you fucking morons are ruining it for those of us who love our sweet little furry babies and have trained them not to do what you have allowed yours to do. You don't have to beat them to get them to understand that pissing/scratching/etc. are not acceptable behavior.

If you had a little accident, there are these things called carpet cleaners that will rescue you from pretty much anything - trust me, I know. There is paint, there are repairmen, and there are things you could do to make it so you don't leave an angry landlord in your path.

I can't even begin to encompass on this keypad exactly how angry I am at this situation. It's beyond me to comprehend how it's even possible that you can be such a lazy, selfish fuck. Stop ruining the world for the rest of us. I seriously, without a doubt, can say I very seriously hate you.

And landlords - it's called a deposit. Get over it. People love their animals, and you're kind of being dicks.

this post is gay

Over time, humans have evolved and adjusted to their living situation and how they react to people around them. For some reason, there are still people in this world who cease to evolve mentally. These are the people who believe that people should not marry the same sex because... The bible says so? It threatens them? They're afraid they'll lose something if someone marries the person they love?

The sanctity of marriage is not threatened because Bob wants to marry Jim. The sanctity of marriage is being ruined because Brittany Spears can get married for a day and divorced the next. Let's just start taking the word 'gay' out of the equation, then. How did it become 'gay marriage' instead of marriage? We don't call it heterosexual marriage - we just call it 'married'.

For those of you who still have it in your head that these people choose who they love (you're an idiot, by the way), stop thinking that Felicity or Heather are going to start going after what's in your pants, Joe, because you're not ever going to turn their heads. You can't turn someone straight, and if you think you can, I'm just crossing my fingers that Darwinism kicks in soon and removes the worst of us via our own means.

What kind of fucking world did we design, where we are so selfish that there are those of us who believe we have ANY rights to choose what another individual is doing? Doesn't that bible tell you to leave people the fuck alone and let God judge them? Are you really so presumptuous that you think you deserve to make gods choices?

What are you afraid of? Stop separating black from white, gay from straight, boy from girl. There is no need to feel like you need to defend something here, because I promise they're not going to take anything from you that they haven't already taken, and all you're going to lose is that little empty spot in your brain filled with a wall.

because i saw you playing with it. that's why.

Why do we all want what we cannot have?

I believe there isn't a soul on earth who has never experienced this as a truth. From youth, we are given the beginning of 'our stuff' - these are the toys and trinkets that our caregivers give us in an attempt to stimulate our brains or appease our appetites. Even if that toy was every thing we ever wanted, it will eventually end up in a corner of the room at some point. Forgotten for the next thing that we absolutely need.

Forgotten until the next appreciative soul comes along and falls in love with your toy the way you did once... There you are, holding your newest something-or-another when you see, from the corner of your eye, Billy is holding last years treasure of choice. This is infuriating! Outrageous! That toy does not belong to Billy, does it? Why, you were just about to pick it back up and spin it around again, weren't you?
And it never goes away.

Remember?

You're still doing it. When you broke up with Simon (bob, jill, jenny, carly, kara, etc.) you might have done so on mutual terms. You might have strung him up and watched him write. Perhaps he was the reason you cried yourself to sleep every night. Amicable or otherwise, a relationship ending is a relationship ending, and there are several truths to what happens next:

The Beginning
Blame. Sorrow. Very few relationships end on a happy note. Even if they do, you'll still get the same results later on down the road. What's yours is yours, what's mine is mine. Something happened to get you to this point. You slept with her brother, she slept with your dad, your bank account was frozen, or perhaps you just got fucking bored with each others shit.

The Attempt
We can just be friends, right? We can use a sword of hated to sear ourselves apart, but don't worry, because later we'll talk about the weather and this years current hairstyle. Suddenly, you pique each others interest again, because you know at the end of the day you're still single and don't *need* that person. A great lot of you are thinking, in that very moment "Well, if nothing else works out, I'll still have ______." Yeah. You're not the only one thinking that.

The End
You may or may not still be talking to each other at this point, but you'll likely be Facebook friends, have each other in your cell phones, and possibly even ask mutual friends about the other every once and awhile- in a platonic, simply asking about your well-being sort of way. But when there is a relationship going on, the other will always know about it. They will know about it, and they will think about constantly.
How did Billy get my toy again? You're out drinking with one of your buddies and in she walks, looking like sin itself wearing red satin that you're pretty sure used to be the sheets you fucked her on. Everything about her is perfect, and your heart is racing in your chest as you remember the things the two of you did. Then someone else has his arm around her, and she's introducing you to 'him', and you're 'my friend'.

And that never goes away.

And you will *always* remember everything good about every relationship you've ever really been a part of. You will always have a hard time remembering why you didn't stay together, or what went wrong. You might blame yourself. You might ask each other what went wrong from time to time.

But stop being a selfish dick and let it go. Don't be friends on Facebook. It'll break your heart. Don't virtually stalk people just to see if they might have posted something about you. Don't accidentally run into each other in places either one of you frequents. I promise you, if you try really hard, you'll remember exactly what went wrong.

orange juice + blueberry + milk + vega + redbull = Sweet Jesus.

I basically just emptied the contents of my refrigerator into a glass and, I must say, it's amazing.

That said, I think it's time to talk a little bit about myself, instead of my opinions. I'm female - most of you will have assumed that and/or figured that out by now. Some of you will have just learned. I live in California, right there beside the beach, and yes, I consider myself lucky for that. The rent is too expensive and it's foggy a lot of the time, but I wouldn't want to trade it in for anything.

I am, at the time of this posting, 28 years of age. I work full time and respect the hell out of my job, and the mere fact that I have a job. I don't think anyone in the world owes me anything, other than whatever respect I might have earned. My job is within the piercing industry, and it's been one hell of a ride. This is an amazing concept - the body jewelry industry lies somewhere between porn stars and celebrities. I've known raunchy and I've known luxurious, all stemmed from the same environment -it's the people, for better or worse. It's the people.

I had a rough childhood like most people did, and parents who loved me dearly like a lot of people didn't. I had puppies and playgrounds and then growing up too fast; I don't regret any of this, and I'm actually quite proud of who I am right now. I'm quiet, but when I think it's time for my opinion to be heard, I'm not going to be secretive about it.

I'm that person you go to when you're ready to be told you're probably wrong, and that maybe, just maybe, it's time to see somewhere outside of your personal bubble. I'm the person who will call a spade a spade, and if you're being a moron, well...

I don't have any children and I'm not married. I don't own a home. I own a car. I rent. I think of myself as one of those people who has potential, but is a little bit... What's the word? Oh, yes, lazy. I'm not much for religion, but I think there are amazing, beautiful things inside of our world or out. There are just too many times you get that feeling in your gut, your chest, your body - the swell of euphoria and the knowledge that we're not so alone. I believe there's something at work, and I don't think it involves a hell or a place where bad people go. I think it's important to have good people and bad people.

I don't exercise often, I don't eat well, and at the end of the day I'm the laziest person around, but right now this is working for me.

I'm not that fond of most people. It's not what the person looks like - it's what the person acts like. The things people say and do blow me away. People are cruel, and stupid, and selfish, and ... This is why I don't get out much.

Brown hair, brown eyes, 5'6" - and that's a wrap.

get a pierce for your gauges.

pierce   
[peers]
verb, pierced, pierc·ing.

Read: Verb. You can go to your local shop and get a piercing. You can even let them pierce a part of your body. What you cannot do is "get a pierce". That's not even a thing.. Do you have any idea how stupid it sounds when that comes out of your mouth? Oh, right, you're a simpleton.

gauge   
[geyj] Show IPA
verb, gauged, gaug·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1.
to determine the exact dimensions, capacity, quantity, or force of; measure.

You cannot 'gauge' your ears. You can buy 0Gauge *for* your ears, but you cannot 0g your ear. You do not say "I like your inches, dude", although, after 0000gauge, do you not go into inches? Most people who holler "Sweet Gauges, Dude!" down the street are yelling at someone who has ears stretched (STRETCHED) enough to be inches anyway.

So go get your pierce and be sure to shove some gauges in it, moron.

share the road.

There was a hit and run on Empire Grade in Santa Cruz today, right up there beside the college. It was a 25-year-old. The vehicle managed to break their mirror off on this bicyclist and send him soaring 20 feet, but did not pull over. Two things piss me off about that - the drivers on Empire grade and hit-and-runners. How the fuck do you sleep at night?

I realize the curves are fun, and everyone is in a hurry to drive the whopping 12-15 mile drive from that little hill to your place of employment. Even if you're commuting, there is never an excuse to be going so quickly you kill a human being. So what do you do if you (oops!) just happen to stumble (?) into murder?

News Flash: If you hit someone or something with your car, it's good policy to pull over. Not only that, but it might save you some good, quality jail time, a few restless nights, and the possibility of having an angry, torch wielding mob at your doorstep/place of employment. Yeah, they will find you, Red/Maroon Nissan with a missing mirror and/or additional damage (think car with bicycle bounce-marks) - you left pieces of yourself behind. Fucking shame on you, asshole. You're the reason things suck a lot of the time. You're the reason your kids are going to grow up in a world full of people like you.

That said... Those of you who take the risk of bicycling up Empire Grade: Not all of you are bad, but those of you who are ruin it for those of you who might go unnoticed doing the right thing. You guys are fucking pricks, and you ride in little clique-d rows and you trail slowly into the middle of the road and peddle a nice, steady too-fucking-slow.

Get your fucking whiny asses into your little bike lane, and quit your bitching. If you want to talk about equality, get your ass down to the dmv, stand in line, take a test, register, fill out paperwork, and purchase some insurance to pay for the damage you do running into OUR CARS.

Ahem.

Also: They're Lights and Turn Signals. Each of the aforementioned groups may participate from learning from them. If you want people to see you, use lights. If you want people to not run into your dumb ass, use your turn signal.

a day in the life.

Fuck, man, seriously, you can't go anywhere these days. Everywhere I go, my faith in mankind dwindles just a little bit more. Some days, it's actually physically exhausting.

You bitch about not having jobs, and when you get jobs, you treat the customers like they're insignificant. um?

Pay attention: You Don't Deserve Anything.
One more Time: The World Does NOT OWE YOU A THING

Now, stop being an idiot. You have absolutely no rights to treat people that way, whether you're working, driving, walking, talking, dancing, singing*, or talking on your (fucking) cell phone. You don't just walk into life and deserve things. Just because you got hired doesn't mean you own the place - in fact, I think you'll find that when push comes to shove, it's not your side the owner is going to take - asshole.

I'll even flip that coin over and take up the other side, just to keep things fair here: Just because you're a customer, does not-fucking-mean-you-are-right. It also doesn't mean you get to be a douche simply based on the fact that these people are working to serve your needs. No: Fuck You Kindly, Asshole, this is not okay.

So all I'm saying is go to work for more than the paycheck and don't go out into the world being a self-righteous cock.

Thanks (:

P.S. - Hang up your cell phone.

*during most events, singing is actually an excuse to do pretty much anything, because it's hard to be a douche bag if you're singing it.